Father Frank Pavone, National Director, Priests for Life
A fellow blogger (thanks M!) recently drew my attention to this quote and I have had it on my mind so much the past few days I am blogging about it.
My issue is not (yet) about the movie which I have not seen and therefore cannot judge, although I am concerned about the content given the reviews I have read.
My issue is about how this movie is being used and of course with the statements by persons like this Father Frank Pavone. The emphasis used in the first part of the quote, I added because this is what upsets me the most.
My question is how can this world be full of abortion survivors if termination WAS NEVER thought of, let alone attempted? Answer is simple, if there was no thought of abortion, then that child was never at risk and therefore not an abortion survivor.
Given the movie is about an adopted adult who is seeking for her identity and the truth of her origins, I can only guess the “abortion survivors” Father Frank is referring to is adopted persons. Had he left the quote at “our world is full of abortion survivors” I don’t think I could argue that because I do not know what the statistics are however given the context of the movie and the rest of that quote, it leads me to think he is referring to adopted persons because it is assumed out there in general society that we natural mothers “chose life” and gave our babies away for adoption so we didn’t have to terminate them.
This is a HUGE misconception. MASSIVE. For myself, abortion was not even remote thought. I rejected it as quickly as I rejected adoption (actually, as abortion was the first option offered to me, I rejected it swiftly followed by adoption).
There was never a question in my mind about what I felt was best for this child I was carrying. Amongst the fear I felt about being pregnant and knowing the judgements that would come, I was also excited about being a mother. I had dreamed about this since I was 4 years old although getting raped and falling pregnant unmarried had never quite featured in that dream, funnily enough. So there was no way I was entertaining any thoughts about termination or abandonment for this baby.
I asked some other natural mother friends of mine on facebook if they had considered abortion… and the resounding answer was no. And I would bet there are many, many adopted persons with mothers who also felt the same way. The mothers I asked wanted to keep their children – adoption never featured on their radar either.
Promoting adoption as a savior for children who might have been or might not have been terminated pregnancies is, very, very dangerous. Adoption has nothing to do with a woman’s choice to end a pregnancy. It really doesn’t. Abortion refers to ending a pregnancy and the decision not to proceed with being pregnant. Adoption is the decision not to proceed with parenting the child for whatever reason. Yet time and time again, the pro lifers/anti-choice persons pit these two together and use guilt to force someone to do something they might not otherwise have done.
These same parties also like to bandy around another term (in league with adoption agencies) and that is “coerced parenting”. COERCED PARENTING!!! First time I read this, I was in disbelief. Because now they are turning something natural into something to be wary of. They are making our natural instincts, that is, to birth and parent our own children, into something ghastly. And that is mind-boggling and disturbing.
Many pro-lifers are also adoption agencies in disguise. Their aim is to prevent abortions in the hope of getting those mothers to place. It is a well greased scam. The thing is, these pro lifers, despite their propaganda, do not care about mother or baby. They only care about the bottom dollar. Given adoption is a mutli billion dollar industry, it is only wise to see the connection between these two issues in the terms of money. Thanks to Facebook, I have seen pages and groups rise and fall that have been operating under cover as “support groups” for young pregnant mothers and they talk about “choosing life”. They then suggest adoption… it is all part of the same wheel that turns to create more profit, more customers. Those that are caught in the tangled webs they weave are the losers – the mothers, the babies and in some cases the more naive PAP’s.
Earlier in the post I raised the point our children were wanted and we planned to keep our babies. How do mothers end up going from adamantly wanting their baby to placing them? Although I have previously linked this post, Coercion not choice, it is the answer to this question and anyone considering adoption (ie adopting) should read it so you do not become part of this cruel and barbaric practise which is tearing families apart.
In relation to the abortion survivor issue, please do not assume our children were ever saved from abortion because they were not. Our children are not abortion survivors. They are our much loved, much wanted children and they were taken by a system who didn’t care for us and who failed us and our children as a whole. Adoption is not the alternative to abortion. It is a painful road with no end in sight. Adoption is a permanent state whereas the issue of becoming pregnant early is not permanent, not really. It is daunting, sure. But adoption is forever and that means the pain it causes.
Although not a personal fan of abortion, I would never ever judge a woman for choosing that route and I have even suggested it to women as a choice which is something I would never have done prior to losing my daughter. You know what changed that for me? Adoption. So to all you pro lifers out there who are promoting the lifelong pain of adoption: you are also creating more fans of abortion because there is nothing in this life that could ever make up for the pain of losing a child to adoption. Nothing.